Feedback: Treatment

Today, we pitched our treatment to the class. These sessions are always useful as they allow us to edit our concepts and improve them, ultimately resulting in a better quality film that resonates with audiences more. As usual, we received some constructive criticism that I intend to explore when revising the treatment and script:

• LIBBY SHOULD BE YOUNGER
  I originally imagined Libby as being 16, however our peers and tutor suggested the story was more fitting for a younger girl around aged 13, as she would be on the cusp of growing up but still young enough to believe in magic. This made sense to me and I intend on changing this.
• MEANING SHOULD BE COMMUNICATED VISUALLY
  My concept was very dialogue-heavy and lots of important information was revealed simply through speech. This made it uninteresting and meant that when I come to start writing the script, I will likely struggle to word things in a way that sounds realistic. This was another very good point that I intend to rectify in my work.
• DITCH THE RITUAL/MAGIC SPELL
  My peers did not like the idea of Libby performing a magic spell as this seemed too cliche. I agree, but could not think of any other ways. Ideas that were suggested include brewing a potion in a cup of tea (which I did not like the idea of) or having her actually bake magic 'biscuits' that transport her to the dream world. I liked this idea a lot as it places the focus on the biscuits themselves, and I will experiment with this in my script.

Overall, I was very pleased with the feedback we got. People liked our idea as they said it was cheerful and uplifting, which is what we are aiming for. We received some very good criticism which I feel I can use to improve our concept and strengthen our chances in creating a good film.